My Fuelling Journey by Jill Mokrzycki

Since starting my fuelling journey with Margaret, it made me reflect back on how my eating habits changed growing up.


I was brought up with parents who cooked balanced meals and encouraged a healthy lifestyle. I’ve never had an eating disorder or any serious nutritional condition. However, I did find myself in a mindset that most females have with our current societal expectations of what healthy is supposed to ‘look’ like.

I have always been an active person. Growing up I always played a sport or found myself going to a gym. Looking back I actually recall eating a lot and frequently. As I got older I became busier. I started to eat less because of time or simply because I thought I had to. I didn’t think my weight was ever an issue and I never saw myself as “fat”.  But of course, just like most females, I would look into a mirror and see things I’d want to change.


My fuelling journey began after joining Modus.

I knew Margaret as a fellow Chiropractor and was querying her on her ability to work her job, train and still have energy in the tank to fit in her 101 activities a day.

Margaret really opened my eyes and made me realise just how little I actually knew about nutrition. If you reduce your caloric load and increase your energy output, your metabolism then changes accordingly. My metabolism adapted because I wasn’t putting any fuel in the tank.

For years I was living in the mindset that calories in need to be less than calories out. So now in my mid 20s, I was working full time as a Chiropractor, exercising 2 hours a day, eating less and wondering why I was tired and now starting to put on weight. Even though I was eating “healthy”, it definitely wasn’t enough to sustain my lifestyle.

This is where Margaret came in.

Margaret also brought awareness to my body during my menstrual cycle and how that too will affect my training, food intake and recovery.


Changes first started with awareness.

How much was I actually eating? I started with just tracking what I ate for a week. In my mind I ate a lot, but after a week of tracking I was only eating about 1400 calories a day. That may sound like a lot (or normal) for some, but for what my average day entailed, it was nowhere near enough. If I were to eat that much today, I would be starving by dinner time and 100% hangry.
My calories were mainly coming from carbs and fats. My protein intake was far from sufficient for my body weight and for the amount of exercise I was doing.

If there’s one thing I can take from this journey, its the value of #protein.


Margaret adjusted my macros accordingly to suit my lifestyle and now the idea was to start reverse dieting (progressively increasing my caloric intake). A very daunting experience for any female who is used to the idea that eating more is going to make you put on weight.

But I went into this journey with complete trust in Margaret and in the process.


I was fed to the point where I could basically eat whatever I wanted (within my macros) that I actually stopped craving or idolising food. I was in such an abundance that the craving for particular foods or hunger went away. 


I tracked my food and my weight every day. Making sure that each meal is weighed out to hit my set macro goals and that my weight didn’t go up too much too soon. At first very annoying, but now seen as very valuable tool. Anything from inflammation to stress as well as  the lead up to your period can influence this. So weighing myself everyday showed me that your body weight can fluctuate day to day. With this in mind, the number on the scales simply became a unit of measure rather than a goal to achieve.

Over the last year working with Margaret I have increased my calories from 1400 to now, 2800 calories.

My goals from the beginning were to improve my energy levels and stop the possible pending “moon face” which I felt was looming from under-eating long term. The number on the scales wasn’t a goal per se but I am currently the leanest I have ever been in a long time. I’m the strongest I’ve been and I can get through days, weeks and months of work, training, life with an abundance of energy.


My metabolism is back up to a place where it is sufficiently burning the fuel I am giving it. The first real time I noticed this was coming back from a 2 week holiday where I wasn’t tracking my food and eating whatever I wanted. Normally if this was the case before fuelling, I’d easily put on 3-5kg and go through the grind of eating less and exercising more as soon as I got back into a routine. But after this particular trip I maintained my weight and didn’t have to do anything more than what I was already doing.

There are still days where I am fatigued, tired, don’t eat enough, etc. but the journey and tools gained now help me to recognise why. From there I change and alter my calories, macros, sleep, training and life accordingly. 


It wasn’t as easy as I write it out to be. I didn’t just suddenly change my habits or mindset overnight, I did have to put in the work for it. It has been a year long process and I’m still continuing to learn and change.

Margaret has been the most patient and invaluable mentor to coach me through the process. I am and will be forever grateful for her knowledge and support in this whole journey.


Working in a health profession, I come across a lot of females who get injured often, under-recover (not overtrain), under-eat and wonder why. So in this I hope it reaches out to females who find themselves in similar positions. Encouraging them to also change their mindset and behaviour now, especially because life is an ever-changing game. 

Human Battery (noun and verb)

I like to use this analogy for some of my patients and will preface the said analogy with the obvious (as common sense is not so common these days) : this is a very simplified example! 

We as human beings function like a giant wet cell battery when it comes to energy. 

Like the wet cell, we generate electric impulses via ionic flow within a liquid medium. 

Like the wet cell battery, we too are rechargeable. 

But when we do not recharge and take care of the body, we commit BATTERY (verb): “ the act of beating someone or something with successive blows : the act of battering.”

In my line of work I am often amazed at an individual’s priority to take better care of their cars than their own bodies. 

Not so long ago, checking the water battery in our car was part of the routine. 


No battery= no energy for the car to start. 

IF THE BATTERY WAS FLAT THE CAR DIDN’T EVEN GET STARTED


UNLESS! You had friends to help you push it down the hill and get a running jump. 


I have found however, the majority of people I work with do not realise that energy is a FINITE resource. It doesn’t matter if it’s the wet cell battery in your car or solar power, the energy will eventually run out. 

The human body in all its amazing splendour, is not free of the constraints of energetic scarcity. 


We all sure as heck know how to use  energy, running about our busy day to day lives, flitting here and there with barely a moment to think, cramming our lives with all the things we can scroll through, read through, hustle through. 

But how do we get energy? And more importantly, how do we get more of it?


We get energy from the food we eat. This is it at the base level.

We get more of it by either increasing our intake of energy, or reducing the output. 

If we eat less than we expend, we are in an energy deficit. The same is true of the reverse except the body has inbuilt mechanisms to mitigate this in the form of thermogenic adaptation and endocrine responses to keep us alive. 

Sufferers of anorexia nervosa can demonstrate what happens at the extreme end of the scale when energy in is far less than energy out. The body will begin to catabolise and break down its own tissue. 

What about those who are not at this extreme?

The overtrained and underfed  female athlete for example? In women, we can see a cessation of the menstrual cycle and loss of bone density. Again, at an end of the spectrum and yet not so extreme as a tube-fed anorexia sufferer. 

What about a female cross-fitter who trains hard and yet is putting on “weight” despite eating a 1400 cal diet? Maybe they should cut more food out of their diet? Exercise even harder? 

What about a working breastfeeding mother of four young children who is eating salads and veg and limiting meat intake to “lose the baby weight and tone up the stretched skin”? On a diet of 800 calories she should DEFINITELY eat less and throw in some half marathon training or some high intensity training right???!


WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. 


By taking an objective perspective can you identify anything, ANYTHING at all that is wrong with these scenarios that besiege the modern day woman?

Why is it that one of the biggest complaints women have in this day and age is that they are tired and yet it is paired with the biggest mistake- that of eating too little WHOLE nourishing food?

Why is such a simple solution so overlooked? 

And why when we start to feel the energy levels pick up again we want to drain the battery down to 1%?

If you kept trying to start a car with a dead battery and it wasn’t working, what would you do- go and get another battery of course! 


But we don’t have this luxury. We have one body, one life and one battery. Our body is the battery.

How you choose to spend or conserve the finite resource that is your energy and attention is up to you. 


For information on coaching with me email on drmdurnan@gmail.com or complete the squarespace form!

The Art of Money

I have a few great loves. One, is education. I love learning and being a student.

I love discovering new things about myself and the world around me. When I was little I devoured encyclopaedias and Reader’s Digest books on “How Things Work”.

One of my favourite subjects in high school was Electronics with Mr Renzullo.

Every year I am learning. In this journey of life, NONE of us get out alive, so I want to savour the experience this reality offers with all the wonders and mysteries of the world.

For many of us, a huge elephant in the room exists which is an obstacle to learning and experiencing life in its full spectrum: MONEY.

Unless you were born to privilege surpassing the need for more, we have all had to rumble with this…thing about money at some stage.

We all have different ideas and values about it, some make more and some make less, some have more and some have less. A piece of paper (or plastic) that humans have assigned value to represent [the also assigned] value of a gold “precious” substance dug out of the ground governments say they have stashed away.

For me, growing up in a house of 6 kids meant money wasn’t in abundance. When I started work at 14 I thought I was the richest person in the world to get $20 -$30 a week. Compared to many in the world who live below the poverty line, I probably would be one the richest people in the world!

In Perth however, costs of living demand a higher income than $5 an hour.

If you read my previous post, you will know that I worked hard to rise above a low socioeconomic class.

BUT this comes with another set of problems:

  • Guilt when you earn more than your limiting belief

  • Responsibility to help others (because I know what it’s like to be starving and have nothing)

  • Zero knowledge on how to budget and what to do with money when you have it

  • Misplaced values around money

  • Avoidance and shame around previous habits

  • Debt from studying

When I was 17 my violent mother left my father, took the children and then via the court system took everything he owned away. He had worked like a Trojan his whole life, retired debt free and in an instant it was taken from under his feet, encumbered with a debt he didn’t deserve for all his hard work. I have not spoken to my mother since, going on 15 years.
What I didn’t realise at the time was how this impacted my view of what money is and does.
From that time on, I believed money corrupted people, that people will sell their soul for the dollar and commit acts in the name of money that went against ethical reason. The brand name clothing she bought when we had no money, the sports I wanted to play but couldn’t because “it was too expensive” left a sour taste in my mouth for years to come.

Even in my adulthood, I can feel the somatic response to my perception of people living in excess.

I demonised money and vowed I would never be like my mother. A story I would rewrite in my life.

It meant when I needed money I just worked harder for what I wanted such as travel, a car or bills.
But deep down I had a subconscious program that if I worked hard, studied, got a mortgage I would be happy, yet the fear remained it could all be taken away. When I got married and reluctantly acquiesced to getting a mortgage and living in the suburbs, all I knew was that I didn’t want that life. It did not bring me the peace and contentment and safety I was looking for. In fact, no external thing can do that for us.

It was during this time of getting married and building a house I discovered the Ido Portal method.

I was in a financially secure place running a little Chiropractic clinic and was doing my Masters.

What I didn’t realise was how much of a life changing experience learning from this person was.

Within a year of being married with a mortgage, I was out. I walked away financially worse off than if I had just stayed single. Divorce costs you emotionally physically mentally and financially.

My net income that year was -$6000.

That same year in 2015 Ido launched his Mentorship program for his close students.

It was a thistle to swallow that I couldn’t afford it that year, or the year after. I was in a state of absolute financial chaos.

I opened Modus with two partners and planned for this facility to be able to one day afford all of us in the program. This was the life path I had chosen. Movement.

So here was the Money Koan: how to raise my income ceiling or reduce living expenses to facilitate the Mentorship program as well as all the other stuff until such time as Modus could sustain it through the business.

Many people said the program was to expensive. Some leaving the group because of the cost. I looked at it like this; you just don’t want it bad enough. I am prepared to work 3 jobs and make the necessary sacrifices because this is what I value. This brought up a lot of fear. How can I help support my sister with my nephew and my dad and look after myself without just working like a demon all the time?

So January 2018 I started Bari Tessler’s The Art of Money year long program to get my shit sorted. To get on top of my tax lodgements and work out student loan debt AND live and pay for the Mentorship program.

You see, I don’t have parents to bail me out. No one is there to bail me out. I don’t have an uncle or grandparent to borrow from. There is zero safety net. I don’t live at home with my mother doing my laundry and allowing me to stay rent free. I punched my way through life to get where I am.

In order to do some deep work around money, I had to settle my nervous system, get out of the fear and anger. I had to clarify my relationship with money.

The year after I made -$6000 I bounced back and made $150,000 with my nose grinding the stone. This meant a huge tax bill of $40,000. Another learning curve and opportunity to refocus on what’s important.

2018 I joined the Mentorship program investing $20,000 AUD every year to my Movement Education. Worth every cent.

By contrast if your in Oz doing a Masters, have a look at what that will cost you.

What I loved about Bari’s course was that she as a psychotherapist knew how much the ‘money healing’ phase can set a person up to rewrite their narrative around money. Things like overcoming underearning, family background and the somatic effect even bringing this stuff up can have on the body is super important to work through.

The course is way too long and detailed to summarise effectively, but she has an amazing book by the same name which I found much more resonating than The Barefoot Investor for example.

This year I prepare for another growth year. I am going to take on my dad’s mortgage. He is 80 next year and i don’t believe he should have to see the rest of his days out in constant anxiety about money. I have 35 years left in the workforce and look to this new money koan with a hint of fear but mostly gratitude that I am equipped with the skills to be able to do this for him.

This is an ongoing work in progress and if you’ve made it this far you deserve some credit. Thank you for this time to read something I hope will show you we are ALL humans going through these issues every year, ebbing and flowing.

I personally don’t value a nice new car or a big flash house. It’s OK if that ‘s your priority in life. Just don’t use this excuse that you don’t have enough money to travel or for tuition at Modus or you can’t do what you want to do because of money. Be honest that you just have a different value system to me. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself and take ownership over the life decisions that have led to this point. I know I had to get real down and dirty with my choices in life and how it impacted my journey.

Here is the link to Bari’s website where you can check out her work and read lots of FREE articles

http://baritessler.com/art-of-money/



Lessons From Losing My Driver's Licence

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Lessons From Losing My Driver's Licence

“Work, work, work, work, work, work

You see me I be work, work, work, work, work, work

You see me do me dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt

There's something 'bout that work, work, work, work, work, work

When you a gon' learn, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn

Me na care if me tired, tired, tired, tired, tired, tired” - Rihanna


I’m a worker. Workaholic. Live to work. Work is life.

This was my creed. An invisible tattoo born from the necessity of circumstance.

My miner father, my cleaner mother.

My father with spinal surgery from.. Work. then working some more.

Second oldest of six children. You know the story. Impoverished upbringing begetting a child who either sinks or swims in a world where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.


A learned pattern of behaviour: WORK.

Work at school for the grades, get a job at 14 to earn some coin, work at uni, work at night, work at day, work on weekends, work on Christmas, on New year’s day, on every holiday. While they sleep I worked. While they drank I worked.

Life doesn’t hand out anything for free if your last name is Durnan. Work hard. Harder than most. Work the hardest you can.


Think you can take a break? Wrong. You must work more. Work for the others, for those that can’t [won’t].

I told this story to myself until it became automated. It’s in my nature. If I see someone shovelling dirt I will pick up a shovel and get to work helping.

I would say to myself I work like a man.

There was no where I wouldn’t drive to, the more physically challenging and laborious the task, the more I would throw myself into it. Three places of employment at a time, I didn’t know what a day or night off was.

Training with Ido Portal and more work? Yeh gimme gimme I love that shit let me prove how much I can squeeze into a day. I don’t need sleep! Dopamine, my drug of choice. Just don’t leave me with a spare minute in the day.

I would zoom around in my car, zipping here there and everywhere. Cooking engines as self care was neglected as much as servicing my car.

It was always destined to happen, losing my licence that is. I had already served 2 previous years of good behaviour for excessive chronic speeding. The third time was most certainly not lucky.

I was hit with a final 6 demerit point loss Dec 2017 and continued to evade service of licence suspension for a further 8 months until someone finally caught me out at home.

Wings clipped. Six months, no driving.

Considering I live 1.5 hours away from Modus this was a big deal. You may as well have put me under house arrest.

I wasn’t angry or frustrated. Actually, I was relieved. The universe finally told me in no uncertain terms:

STOP

I had to stop the business and fast pace of life. I had to sit with emotions and feelings of “not doing enough”.
I had to look at my choices and habits and all the extra space that would be created. Staring into the loss of a certain freedom modern life has granted us.

What also came up?

Fear.

Of not making money. Fear of not having enough. Fear of letting go of control. Fear of letting other people drive me around. Fear of being dependant.

The first three months was easy. It was nice. It was funny. But now I’m in month 4… and it’s getting old.

I just want to go to the beach on those hot days and be on my own. But I can’t.

I just want to go out to the shop to grab some butter… BUT I CAN’T

I just want to pick up my nephew. BUT I CAN’T

Lesson learned Universe. I’ve slowed down.

I sit more. Meditate more. Breathe more. I welcomed the soft river to balance the internal furnace.

And you know what? the world didn’t end.

I had space to create future income streams and tick things off my "To Do” list that I hadn’t made time for. I left space.

I also found out who my real friends were (and we ALL have those people). The ones who I always drove to, flew to and called up to catch up. I send them love but now channel my energy to those who give back too. Fuckers.

I have two months left to go. I’m going to sit with the discomfort and lean forward to greet it, writing a different story knowing that The Workhorse still resides within, but I can choose when to put that yoke around my neck and remove it when I want. I’m not a slave to the program anymore.

Break Patterns.

…Plus I’ve saved a lot of money on petrol and speeding fines!!!!

xoxo MD


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